Haven’t written for a while. I’d apologize but I don’t have anyone to apologize to.
Then, again, maybe I don’t want to apologize to anyone. Because I have the freedom to write when I want.
Not that I didn’t want to write. Maybe, I should apologize to myself. I didn’t give myself what I wanted – the time to write and finalize a blog post ready to be published.
Perfectionism. I’ve had some thoughts on perfectionism lately.
I’ve had this idea come into my mind lately. That perfectionism has always been the aim, the purpose, what I thought is the final destination.
It’s rather a fata morgana. An illusion.
God doesn’t demand it and He hasn’t made us with the aim for us to be perfect. He made us to be human.
We are the ones who created this unachievable and illusory target called perfection.
Perfectionism is a human flaw.
Most of the advice out there related to goals and productivity doesn’t really apply to me. This is what I’ve noticed.
And I’ve tried a lot of systems: getting things done, desire map, focusing on just one single thing. And the dreaded SMART goals (at least for me, that’s the way it is).
I’ve spent this weekend reading about some other goals management systems than the ones I’ve already tried until now, in the hope that I’ll find one that fits me.
They’ve got some ideas, but no, I haven’t found the one system that I’d happily and joyfully apply from A to Z.
I don’t know whether it’s me or it’s them.
But I guess I’ll need to find my own way and my own system.
Gmail has just given me a scary thrill. They locked me out of my account. They say normally it’s going to be resolved in one hour, very rarely the problem will last up to 24 hours.
Let’s pray and hope it is so.
This never happened to me before.
I suspect it is an application I’ve tried to use with google, the application is called zapier, it can trigger automatic emails and this is what I was trying to do, to have an automatic email sent to someone who books an appointment in my calendar.
And since I have an hour to spare until I wait to see if Gmail gives me my email account back, I thought of writing a blog post, on my blog which I’ve been avoiding lately like … Ok, maybe not avoiding it like it has some kind of disease or something, but at least trying to ignore …
The reason … I don’t know exactly. Or maybe I do. Actually, there are two.
Indecision about if I should find a “niche” for my blog or not if I should blog with a purpose or not. I don’t want to focus and I don’t want a niche. I’ve done a course on blogging from the heart and there was an idea with I liked a lot: your blog is the magazine of you. Love this idea, and this is what I want my blog to be: the magazine of me. It focuses on what I’m interested in, and I’ve written the main things I’m interested in on my about page. Just reread it and the three bullet points on my about page encompass exactly my main interests.
The second reason is that I have this fear of having people who know me in real life read my blog. And since I’ve already started this blog post talking about weird applications, I’ll add another one: Instagram. I created a separate account for my blog, with a link to this website on my profile. And guess what, people who know me in real life keep requesting to follow me. I suspect the application is reading my contacts on my private facebook account. No idea how it does this since it’s a totally different email. Or it might read information on my phone. Even from other applications. The world we live in … can’t keep something from anyone. You start a private blog, (highlight on private) and your acquaintances are prompted by social media to visit it. I know, if I want something private, I shouldn’t publish it on the internet. It’s true, but the truth is, I do want people to read my blog, but not the people who know me.
And the third reason why I haven’t posted … Oh, did I say there were just two reasons? Well, no, there were actually three and the third one, the one I didn’t want to talk about might actually be the true one: I didn’t take pictures of those traditional brooches that are given to women on the 1st and 8th of March, as I promised in my post on the 1st of March.
And in the meantime of writing this long post, probably my longest post by now, Gmail has granted me access to my email account. Thank God, thank gmail and let’s hope it won’t happen again.
I’m floating in the limbo of indecision.
The worst thing about it is that it makes me lose my time. I don’t know what to do, so I don’t do anything important to me.
It might be the wrong mindset.
Maybe it’s not decide, then do. Maybe it’s do, then decide.
You need to try things out before you decide. Otherwise, you decide without having the most important information: do you like the option you chose or not?
Here in my country people celebrate the first of March. It’s a sort of combination celebration. The first day of spring with a celebration of women. Women get flowers and some sort of brooches that have a red and white threads attached to them. Not sure what they mean but we might be the only country in the world that celebrates the coming of spring this way. I’ll take some pictures of those brooches with the white and red thread and share them in the next post.
Ah, and on the first of March is my mother’s birthday, too.